Convos With A 5 Year Old

Yes, kids say the darndest things. But for some reason, Jacob has been extra hilarious this week. I don't even know where he gets half this stuff! 

Jacob: "Remember that time we went to India."
Me: "No, I don't remember that time we went to India."
Jacob: "Oh, well maybe you were drunk."

Me: "Wow Jake, that is really cool. I can't believe you made that."
Jacob: "Yeah mom, I'm a kid. And sometimes kids are cool."

Me: "Jacob, please get the train for Ryan"
Jacob: "He has hands. He can get it."

Jacob (after watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the movie): "That movie totally changed my life!"

Jacob: "Mommy, we need to talk about this. Did you throw my art in the garbage?"
Me: "Ummmm."
Jacob: "It's ok if you did. I just need you to tell the truth."

"Mom, do all of us have brains?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Even Ryan?"

I walked into the dining room where Ryan and Jacob were eating yogurt. Jacob had a handful of yogurt and was making "art" on the table, finger paint style. I didn't even blink because this is classic Jacob.
Me: "Jacob, please stop playing with your food."
Jacob: "It's not my food. It's Ryan's!"

Me: "We aren't going outside now. It's almost bed time."
Jacob: "No it's not."
Me: "Yes. It's night time."
Jacob: "But it's morning on the other side of the world."

And, the grand finale: On Wednesday, I picked up my kids from my mom's house. When I arrived, I saw a blur run by me. I was very confused for a second. I could have sworn that I had just seen a cat run by. A cat who has had its fur ripped out in little sections by another animal. It took me a second to register that the cat was, in fact, my son. 

Jacob decided to give himself a haircut.

I can't decide what's worse, letting him go around looking like a wounded cat or completely shaving his head. In the meantime, we will stick with the status quo...because....less work.