Apparently, my voice is too high for a lawyer's voice. I've been acutely and self-consciously aware of this fact since a partner at a prior firm mentioned this to me over a year ago. He then proceeded to give me tips on how to sound more authoritative. He quipped that an older female client doesn't sound very assured when her lawyer sounds young and high-pitchy.
His point was well made. I took it to heart. Ever since then, I've struggled to sound more authoritative. It's really hard to talk in a deeper voice on purpose and to not sound like a raspy serial killer.
Although I'm trying, I haven't quite mastered the skill. Occassionally, when I'm not thinking about it or when I'm caught off guard, I will resort to my high-pitched "phone" voice. The former partner who originally mentioned this whole thing to me over a year ago is now my current boss. And today, after a phone conferece with another attorney, he mentioned it to me again.
It's frustrating. He's 100% right. I need to sound more like a lawyer. And unfortunately, that means sounding more masculine. The frustrating thing is that it's simply not easy to change your voice and still sound natural. I need more practice or just some better tips/training.
Not only does my boss think I need to sound more authoritative, he thinks I need training on how to "lie." I have to admit that when it comes to lying, I suck. I almost always crack a huge suspicious grin when pressed. I tend to think this is a QUALITY in my character, not a deficit. But my boss decided that my "lie" training should start today. (p.s., my boss is actually a funny and awesome guy, this isn't as bad as it sounds and is mostly just in good fun). When we called up a colleague about meeting for happy hour, my boss challenged me to give the receptionist a pretent name.
"Hello, how may I direct your call."'
"Yes. Can I speak to Sarah please."
"Who may I ask is calling?"
".....Brenda."
"Wait, is this CP?"
"....giggle, giggle. YES!"
Not only did I fail at lying, but the sweet old lady receptionist sounded pretty annoyed by what she called my "prank." I immediately called her back to apologize. I was going to explain about my "lie training." Because THAT sounds completely normal, right? But as soon as I said I was sorry, she told me she had to go and promptly hung up. Now I feel HORRIBLE! I'm pretty sure it's horrific karma to eff with a receptionist. I'm sure that's in a rule book somewhere.
See. Lying is bad. It gets you in trouble. Lawyers do not need help tarnishing the reputation of their profession. I think from now on, I will stick to simply "molding the facts to fit my theory of the case."
After work, we eventually did meet up with our former coworkers for happy hour. We all used to work at the same firm about two years ago. Some of us left. Some of us left and returned. Some of us are still there. I love this group. They are my favorite people ever. If I could build my ideal law firm with all my favorite people to work with, they would be there. We're loud. We're rowdy. We're inappropriate. We're such a diverse group of individual that from the outside, we do not look like we would all be friends. It's amazing how a workplace can bring all different types of people together and give us something in common. I love it.
During happy hour I drank just one beer and that was enough to get me in trouble. By the end of happy hour, I was in an uncontrollable giggling rage. (Talk about trying to sound more authoritative!). Everything seemed funny to me and I couldn't stop laughing. Unfortunately, this is when someone started to talk about their dog having cancer. My beer was still in full force and I giggled through the whole sad story. I am SO going to hell. (On the positive: hell is more likely to have beer).
I arrived home late but with just enough time to cuddle my baby and hang out with my big kid before bed. I'm so looking forward to spending an entire weekend with them. Even when they are cranky and whinny. Happy hours put everything into a good perspective. I guess that's why they are called "happy" hours.
Showing posts with label The Firm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Firm. Show all posts
Friday, November 30, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Flexibility Matters
I wanted to write a post about how things are going with my special work arrangements. Working 2 days a week from "home" (actually, my mom's home while she watches the kids), has been totally amazing.
I was very skeptical at first. In lawschool, every one of my attempts to study at home failed. I simply could not muster up the self discipline to hunker down and focus on school. Same thing with my first attorney job. But so far, whether I'm working on my dining room table or in my old room at my parent's house, I've been super productive. It helps to have scary court-deadlines looming over your head. Or maybe it's the fact that I still feel like I need to prove to my new employers that I can make this working from home thing work.
The days I work from "home," I get an extra hour of sleep. After work, I get an extra hour of play time with the kids. (I even took them to the YMCA yesterday after work!). When I get to my mom's, I lock myself in my old room where I am free from interruption by partners, paralegals, phone calls, etc. There's no one to entice me away from my desk with an invitation to lunch or coffee. I can take five minute breaks to raid my mom's pantry and give the kids a hug.
Mentally, just knowing that I don't have to make the 2.5 hour one way trek into Seattle everyday, has made all the difference in my attitude. I'm not stuck in traffic. I don't have to deal with extremely slow walkers clogging up the sidewalks. I don't have mini-panic attacks about missing my bus or ferry. If I'm half an hour late, no one knows (I just work half an hour later). It's so much easier to manage an unhumane commute when you are only doing it every other day.
Plus, I get to work in my yoga pants! Or jeans. Or shorts. Or heck, my underwear if I wanted! From a wardrobe perspective, my job is perfect. Half the week I get to play dress-up and wear all my favorite work wardrobe pieces and the other half of the week I get to work in my casual clothes that otherwise get very little use.
And double bonus: I still love my job. Like, to a sickening degree of job-love. It's challenging. It's interesting. I get to write a lot of motions and briefs. I occassionally get to attend hearings and depositions ("occassionally" is the perfect frequency for these types of tasks). I get to help strategize on litigation efforts. I get just the perfect mixture of self-management/autonomy and guidance. Probably the most exciting thing of all... I get my picture on the firm website! Hey, it's the little things right?
So, the take-away? A little flexibility from an employer as far as letting you work from home or work slightly-reduced hourse can make a huge difference. Without the flexibility, the job I absolutely love would be unsustainable and implausible. I still don't know how I got so lucky!
I was very skeptical at first. In lawschool, every one of my attempts to study at home failed. I simply could not muster up the self discipline to hunker down and focus on school. Same thing with my first attorney job. But so far, whether I'm working on my dining room table or in my old room at my parent's house, I've been super productive. It helps to have scary court-deadlines looming over your head. Or maybe it's the fact that I still feel like I need to prove to my new employers that I can make this working from home thing work.
The days I work from "home," I get an extra hour of sleep. After work, I get an extra hour of play time with the kids. (I even took them to the YMCA yesterday after work!). When I get to my mom's, I lock myself in my old room where I am free from interruption by partners, paralegals, phone calls, etc. There's no one to entice me away from my desk with an invitation to lunch or coffee. I can take five minute breaks to raid my mom's pantry and give the kids a hug.
Mentally, just knowing that I don't have to make the 2.5 hour one way trek into Seattle everyday, has made all the difference in my attitude. I'm not stuck in traffic. I don't have to deal with extremely slow walkers clogging up the sidewalks. I don't have mini-panic attacks about missing my bus or ferry. If I'm half an hour late, no one knows (I just work half an hour later). It's so much easier to manage an unhumane commute when you are only doing it every other day.
Plus, I get to work in my yoga pants! Or jeans. Or shorts. Or heck, my underwear if I wanted! From a wardrobe perspective, my job is perfect. Half the week I get to play dress-up and wear all my favorite work wardrobe pieces and the other half of the week I get to work in my casual clothes that otherwise get very little use.
And double bonus: I still love my job. Like, to a sickening degree of job-love. It's challenging. It's interesting. I get to write a lot of motions and briefs. I occassionally get to attend hearings and depositions ("occassionally" is the perfect frequency for these types of tasks). I get to help strategize on litigation efforts. I get just the perfect mixture of self-management/autonomy and guidance. Probably the most exciting thing of all... I get my picture on the firm website! Hey, it's the little things right?
So, the take-away? A little flexibility from an employer as far as letting you work from home or work slightly-reduced hourse can make a huge difference. Without the flexibility, the job I absolutely love would be unsustainable and implausible. I still don't know how I got so lucky!
Friday, November 2, 2012
The Horrible Wonderful Week.
I've never been so happy to for a week to end:
Monday: worked from home on a project for a partner that I haven't worked with yet. After work, I rushed to meet my husband in Seattle for a comedy-type show. Lesson learned: I am too old to go out on weeknights. We slunk back to my mom's house and I went to bed around midnight. The next morning I was definitely quesitoning my recent caffeine strike.
Tuesday: when I got to the office, my boss informed me that the partner I helped out the day before sent an email to all the partners praising my work. I tried so hard not to beam when I heard that. Who doesn't love being told they are doing work?! The rest of the day is a blur. Who cares what happened after that awesome email, right?
Wednesday: I was supposed to work from my mom's house but a partner had asked me to cover a medical exam for him in Seattle so I drove to work instead. In the afternoon, I nearly got lost getting to the medical exam....(I will never live in a big city!). But it was so awesome to finally be able to watch an expert medical exam after reading so many medical reports. I definitely learned a lot. Mostly, that exam doctors dictate everything the client says AS she says it. So annoying. Unfortunately, the doctor started an hour late and took an hour longer than expected. I sat in horrible traffic on the way home (traveled 2 miles in 25 minutes at one point) and switched back and forth between hyperventilating and crying when I realized I wouldn't get to the kids in time for trick-or-treating. It worked out in the end but I was total mess for the 2.5 hours it took me to get to where the kids were. Watching the kids dress up and hunt for candy almost made up for my crazy commute, however.
Thursday: I was interviewed for a story about the ferries and even made it in the local paper (celebrity-hood!). The rest of the day went well except for the part where I worked late again. Thank goodness I DID work late because right before I left, a partner walked in my office, handed me a folder and said, "Here are the documents you will need for that hearing tomorrow. Thanks for covering it for me." Wait...what!? HOLY SHIT! I had totally forgotten that I agreed to cover an oral argument the next day! If I had gone home at normal time...shudder at the thought. So, I hopped on the ferry, read the motion papers, and outlined my arguments. I got home to the worst tantrum Jacob has ever had. He was so extremely tired that he was scream-yelling for at least an hour straight. This happened at the same moment I was trying to get Ryan to sleep. That. Night. Sucked.
Friday: This morning, I got up early, put on my court suit, helped my husband get the kids out the door, grabbed my briefcase, and walked outside. As soon as the door slammed shut behind me, I immediately realized that I had locked myself out and that my car keys were still inside! I let out a string of four-letter words, tryinging so hard not to keel over and have a major anxiety attack. Then I frantically called my husband to rescue me. He was only a couple minutes away and thankfully he was able to turn around and let me in the house before I was late to court.
I practiced my oral arguments out loud in the car the entire way to the courthouse. I know I looked crazy to the people driving next to me. Especially because I talk with a lot of hand gestures (yes, even when driving). Oh and did I mention this was my first ever oral argument? And I was basically doing it on the fly? Thankfully, I don't really get nervous for court appearances. In fact, I don't really get outwardly nervous for anything. Talking in public used to make my heart pound in my chest. It used to make me want to run away and cry. Now, I pretty much don't even think about it. Of course I get uncomfortable doing new things, I just don't really think about being nervous anymore. Usually, I just don't have time to be nervous. My new mentality: shit needs to get done, go and do it.
As I sat in the courtroom waiting for my case to be called, I made friends with a young local attorney sitting next to me. We both went to the same law school and graduated the same year. It was really refreshing to commiserate about practicing law with a total stranger with whom I had so much in common. When my case was called, I approached the bench, listened to the attorney for the other side give her argument. When it was my turn to go, I totally blacked out. I know I was speaking because my lips were moving and people were looking and listening to me. But I have NO IDEA what I said. Honest to god! Whatever I said must have been competent because the hearing outcome was as expected.
When I got back to the office, I spent three hours staring at a computer screen and going cross-eyed over some wacky and confusing statutes. I typed like a madwoman to complete a 5 page memo to hand to my boss. (I'm now an expert on survival and wrongful death statutes in my state- which, for some reason are not written in any English that I understand). I finished the memo just in time for a client meeting with a partner. During that meeting, a crazy thing happened. In front of the client, the partner asked for MY advice! I felt like a real lawyer or something. It was crazy.
When the clock hit 5pm (my fourth late night this week--I'm supposed to be working only 6 hours a day)!, I hopped in my car to head home. Traffic SUCKED and it took me an entire hour to get out of downtown Seattle. Thanks radio, for covering a compelling story about two teenage boys being shunned by the diving community for hunting an octopus (insert sarcasm). Then it took me an hour and a half to drive home. I finally walked into the house at 7:30pm.
The ups and downs of this week have been intense. Oddly, almost all the highlights came from actual lawyer work. I got to do a lot of new things, I learned a lot, stretched my comfort zone, and received compliments on my work. The low points were related to home, commuting or me being a major dumbass. I'm pretty sure (and seriously hope) there is no direct relationship between these things. Because, I can't handle another week like this.
Thank GOD this horrible, wonderful week is finally over.
Monday: worked from home on a project for a partner that I haven't worked with yet. After work, I rushed to meet my husband in Seattle for a comedy-type show. Lesson learned: I am too old to go out on weeknights. We slunk back to my mom's house and I went to bed around midnight. The next morning I was definitely quesitoning my recent caffeine strike.
Tuesday: when I got to the office, my boss informed me that the partner I helped out the day before sent an email to all the partners praising my work. I tried so hard not to beam when I heard that. Who doesn't love being told they are doing work?! The rest of the day is a blur. Who cares what happened after that awesome email, right?
Wednesday: I was supposed to work from my mom's house but a partner had asked me to cover a medical exam for him in Seattle so I drove to work instead. In the afternoon, I nearly got lost getting to the medical exam....(I will never live in a big city!). But it was so awesome to finally be able to watch an expert medical exam after reading so many medical reports. I definitely learned a lot. Mostly, that exam doctors dictate everything the client says AS she says it. So annoying. Unfortunately, the doctor started an hour late and took an hour longer than expected. I sat in horrible traffic on the way home (traveled 2 miles in 25 minutes at one point) and switched back and forth between hyperventilating and crying when I realized I wouldn't get to the kids in time for trick-or-treating. It worked out in the end but I was total mess for the 2.5 hours it took me to get to where the kids were. Watching the kids dress up and hunt for candy almost made up for my crazy commute, however.
Thursday: I was interviewed for a story about the ferries and even made it in the local paper (celebrity-hood!). The rest of the day went well except for the part where I worked late again. Thank goodness I DID work late because right before I left, a partner walked in my office, handed me a folder and said, "Here are the documents you will need for that hearing tomorrow. Thanks for covering it for me." Wait...what!? HOLY SHIT! I had totally forgotten that I agreed to cover an oral argument the next day! If I had gone home at normal time...shudder at the thought. So, I hopped on the ferry, read the motion papers, and outlined my arguments. I got home to the worst tantrum Jacob has ever had. He was so extremely tired that he was scream-yelling for at least an hour straight. This happened at the same moment I was trying to get Ryan to sleep. That. Night. Sucked.
Friday: This morning, I got up early, put on my court suit, helped my husband get the kids out the door, grabbed my briefcase, and walked outside. As soon as the door slammed shut behind me, I immediately realized that I had locked myself out and that my car keys were still inside! I let out a string of four-letter words, tryinging so hard not to keel over and have a major anxiety attack. Then I frantically called my husband to rescue me. He was only a couple minutes away and thankfully he was able to turn around and let me in the house before I was late to court.
I practiced my oral arguments out loud in the car the entire way to the courthouse. I know I looked crazy to the people driving next to me. Especially because I talk with a lot of hand gestures (yes, even when driving). Oh and did I mention this was my first ever oral argument? And I was basically doing it on the fly? Thankfully, I don't really get nervous for court appearances. In fact, I don't really get outwardly nervous for anything. Talking in public used to make my heart pound in my chest. It used to make me want to run away and cry. Now, I pretty much don't even think about it. Of course I get uncomfortable doing new things, I just don't really think about being nervous anymore. Usually, I just don't have time to be nervous. My new mentality: shit needs to get done, go and do it.
As I sat in the courtroom waiting for my case to be called, I made friends with a young local attorney sitting next to me. We both went to the same law school and graduated the same year. It was really refreshing to commiserate about practicing law with a total stranger with whom I had so much in common. When my case was called, I approached the bench, listened to the attorney for the other side give her argument. When it was my turn to go, I totally blacked out. I know I was speaking because my lips were moving and people were looking and listening to me. But I have NO IDEA what I said. Honest to god! Whatever I said must have been competent because the hearing outcome was as expected.
When I got back to the office, I spent three hours staring at a computer screen and going cross-eyed over some wacky and confusing statutes. I typed like a madwoman to complete a 5 page memo to hand to my boss. (I'm now an expert on survival and wrongful death statutes in my state- which, for some reason are not written in any English that I understand). I finished the memo just in time for a client meeting with a partner. During that meeting, a crazy thing happened. In front of the client, the partner asked for MY advice! I felt like a real lawyer or something. It was crazy.
When the clock hit 5pm (my fourth late night this week--I'm supposed to be working only 6 hours a day)!, I hopped in my car to head home. Traffic SUCKED and it took me an entire hour to get out of downtown Seattle. Thanks radio, for covering a compelling story about two teenage boys being shunned by the diving community for hunting an octopus (insert sarcasm). Then it took me an hour and a half to drive home. I finally walked into the house at 7:30pm.
The ups and downs of this week have been intense. Oddly, almost all the highlights came from actual lawyer work. I got to do a lot of new things, I learned a lot, stretched my comfort zone, and received compliments on my work. The low points were related to home, commuting or me being a major dumbass. I'm pretty sure (and seriously hope) there is no direct relationship between these things. Because, I can't handle another week like this.
Thank GOD this horrible, wonderful week is finally over.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
New Job
Changing jobs is a lot like breaking up with a boyfriend.
One minute, you are content with Joe. Then Bob comes along. He shows a little interest in you. You feel guilty looking because you are taken. But Bob flexes a bicep and suddenly you are drawn to him, like the eyes of middle aged women to a 3-D production of the film Magic Mike. Before you know it, you're marching up to trusty, old, familiar Joe and giving him the infamous "it's not you" speech. You are initially pained at the look of betrayal in Joe's eyes. But that feeling is replaced with excitement as Bob throws you over his brauny shoulders and whisks you away to a romantic cottage on the beach.
Ok, so maybe getting a new job isn't like that at all.
For those of you catching up, last year I left my job in insurance defense in search of a position closer to home. Except there was not a single lawyer opening in my entire county. So I took a job as a paralegal. My new boss hinted that he would like to eventually train me to take over his practice. That seemed like a great idea to me! At first, it wasn't hard giving up a 4 hour daily commute and billable hour requirement for the slower pace of a paralegal position. The 15 minute commute helped.
Well, the other day, I saw a missed call from a partner at my former law firm. It wasn't unusual for him to call me. Like me, he had recently left the firm, and he liked planning happy hours with other ex-pats of the office. Afraid I'd have to turn down another happy hour invite, I checked the voicemail message he had left. When I heard his message, my jaw hit the floor.
"Hi, it's me. As you know, I started a law firm with my buddy....I'd like to hire you. Call me so we can talk"
What?! I was shocked. I was being solicited for a job! This seemed way too good to be true. I called him back and discussed how I was flattered but that I wasn't interested in the commute.
"What would it take to get you over here?" He asked.
No way. I decided to shoot for the moon, fully expecting to be shut down. "Well, I'd probably have to be able to work from home one day a week. No, make that two days a week. And, because of the commute, I would need shorter work days."
"How short?"
"Six hours?"
"Ok. Let me talk to my partner."
When I hung up, I was shocked, skeptical, and flattered. I had enjoyed working with this partner at my former firm. I had considered him my mentor there. But I didn't think I really stood out from the other associates. Why would he call ME?
I returned to work the next day. But I have to admit, my mind was was far from my quiet office. A million possibilities were swirling around in my head. Could this really happen? No, too good to be true! What if it did? I started to get the weird feeling that I was cheating on my boss just for entertaining this ridiculous idea. My stomach was in knots.
Fastforward a couple phone discussions later and I got it. I got a real offer. And it involved 2 days per week at home, reduced hours, and more pay (compared to what I am currently making). I gave it a lot of thought. The nearly 4 hour commute is nothing to take lightly. But working from home and part time? That's practically unheard of unless you're a solo practicioner! I already knew I would take the job, I just had to talk myself into it.
But, that didn't make it any easier to break the news at my current office. I work with great people. They've taught me a lot about working on the plaintiff side. I even co-chaired a trial here. After 5 minutes of heart-pounding, room pacing, and violent hand shaking (I was trying to shake-out the nervousness), I marched bravely into my boss' office and gave him the "it's not you, it's me" speech.
It was a hard thing to do. I'm a loyal person. I want everyone to like me, especially people that I like. But as I broke the news, my boss was calm and collected and very civil, almost as if he saw it coming. I think he was disappointed. That's the worst part for me. I am a people pleaser. I hate disappointing anyone.
But now it's done. It's official. My two weeks begin tomorrow. I'm incredibly excited and anxious to begin my new journey. I know it will be a great opportunity. I'm already swamped and I haven't even started. There's already over a hundred cases waiting for me to assist with! This will be my third job in three years, but I'm hopeful that this one will be for the longhaul. 2 weeks couldn't be further away!
One minute, you are content with Joe. Then Bob comes along. He shows a little interest in you. You feel guilty looking because you are taken. But Bob flexes a bicep and suddenly you are drawn to him, like the eyes of middle aged women to a 3-D production of the film Magic Mike. Before you know it, you're marching up to trusty, old, familiar Joe and giving him the infamous "it's not you" speech. You are initially pained at the look of betrayal in Joe's eyes. But that feeling is replaced with excitement as Bob throws you over his brauny shoulders and whisks you away to a romantic cottage on the beach.
Ok, so maybe getting a new job isn't like that at all.
For those of you catching up, last year I left my job in insurance defense in search of a position closer to home. Except there was not a single lawyer opening in my entire county. So I took a job as a paralegal. My new boss hinted that he would like to eventually train me to take over his practice. That seemed like a great idea to me! At first, it wasn't hard giving up a 4 hour daily commute and billable hour requirement for the slower pace of a paralegal position. The 15 minute commute helped.
Well, the other day, I saw a missed call from a partner at my former law firm. It wasn't unusual for him to call me. Like me, he had recently left the firm, and he liked planning happy hours with other ex-pats of the office. Afraid I'd have to turn down another happy hour invite, I checked the voicemail message he had left. When I heard his message, my jaw hit the floor.
"Hi, it's me. As you know, I started a law firm with my buddy....I'd like to hire you. Call me so we can talk"
What?! I was shocked. I was being solicited for a job! This seemed way too good to be true. I called him back and discussed how I was flattered but that I wasn't interested in the commute.
"What would it take to get you over here?" He asked.
No way. I decided to shoot for the moon, fully expecting to be shut down. "Well, I'd probably have to be able to work from home one day a week. No, make that two days a week. And, because of the commute, I would need shorter work days."
"How short?"
"Six hours?"
"Ok. Let me talk to my partner."
When I hung up, I was shocked, skeptical, and flattered. I had enjoyed working with this partner at my former firm. I had considered him my mentor there. But I didn't think I really stood out from the other associates. Why would he call ME?
I returned to work the next day. But I have to admit, my mind was was far from my quiet office. A million possibilities were swirling around in my head. Could this really happen? No, too good to be true! What if it did? I started to get the weird feeling that I was cheating on my boss just for entertaining this ridiculous idea. My stomach was in knots.
Fastforward a couple phone discussions later and I got it. I got a real offer. And it involved 2 days per week at home, reduced hours, and more pay (compared to what I am currently making). I gave it a lot of thought. The nearly 4 hour commute is nothing to take lightly. But working from home and part time? That's practically unheard of unless you're a solo practicioner! I already knew I would take the job, I just had to talk myself into it.
But, that didn't make it any easier to break the news at my current office. I work with great people. They've taught me a lot about working on the plaintiff side. I even co-chaired a trial here. After 5 minutes of heart-pounding, room pacing, and violent hand shaking (I was trying to shake-out the nervousness), I marched bravely into my boss' office and gave him the "it's not you, it's me" speech.
It was a hard thing to do. I'm a loyal person. I want everyone to like me, especially people that I like. But as I broke the news, my boss was calm and collected and very civil, almost as if he saw it coming. I think he was disappointed. That's the worst part for me. I am a people pleaser. I hate disappointing anyone.
But now it's done. It's official. My two weeks begin tomorrow. I'm incredibly excited and anxious to begin my new journey. I know it will be a great opportunity. I'm already swamped and I haven't even started. There's already over a hundred cases waiting for me to assist with! This will be my third job in three years, but I'm hopeful that this one will be for the longhaul. 2 weeks couldn't be further away!
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