Check Up

You know what is crazier than wrestling five snakes at one time? Taking two kids to the doctor's office for a dual check-up. I had to reschedule Jacob's 5 year check-up last month when I started my new job. I figured it would be a bad call to take time off work for a doctor's appointment my second day of work. So, with some fancy calendaring footwork, I managed to get both boys in on the same day. Ryan had his 18 months check-up and Jacob had his 5 year check up, back to back.

Perfect! Or so I thought. 

I always forget how much work it is to wrangle these two to the doctor's. We started off enjoying our laid back morning. As I took a shower and got dressed, the boys played together. Ryan is absolutely fascinated by everything Jacob does. He wants to be included in all games and jokes. When I stepped out of the shower, I was met by the sight of the boys having sword fights. Ryan was holding his own and managed to be a formidable foe. 

Saving the world before breakfast!

After that, time seemed to accelerate unfairly and we were rushing out the door. By the time our late morning appointment rolled around, Ryan was crabby and ready for a nap. Jacob discovered that his shoes were soaking wet from the day before (no idea how THAT happened). And neither kid had finished their breakfast. I shoved items into the diaper bag like a mad person (also packing my purse and lunch and work stuff). 

I managed to pull into the parking lot with three minutes to spare only to discover when I opened the back door of the car that Ryan had ripped off both his shoes and his socks during the ride. And Jacob protested the dampness of his shoes and refused to put them on. 

Needless to say, I showed up at the front desk out of breath and with two little barefoot boys. But at least we were only late by 30 seconds. Walking down the hall chasing after barefoot Jacob while wearing heels, my hands full of bags, with barefoot Ryan squirming uncontrollably out of my arms, we passed two teenage girls. I became acutely aware of the insanity of my life. I'm pretty sure that when teenagers see us out in public, they take an immediate vow of chastity and never want to have sex. Like ever. 

In the waiting room, the older girls gathered around Ryan offering him toys and giggles. Ryan pointed to all the older kids and exclaimed excitedly, "baby! baby! baby!" I'm pretty sure that none of them appreciated being called a baby.

When it was our turn to go back into the room, I stripped the boys down to their undies/diapies. And it didn't take lone before the exam room was a full blown circus. The kids were spinning on the doctor's stool, jumping off the chairs, wrestling and giggling on the floor. Ryan kept walking up to the wall and smacking his head against it, giggling in between blows. Then they began to spin like ballerinas, flopping all over each other and the floor. My attempts to calm and corral them did not work and I eventually gave up and let them get it out of their systems. Down the hall babies and kids were screaming in fear and terror. I reminded myself to be thankful that mine were laughing, however hysterically. 

When the doctor came in, she asked Jacob how old he was. Jacob proudly told her that he was five years old. She asked Ryan how old he was. Ryan also proudly declared that he was five. Now, when we ask Ryan how old anyone is, he answers, "five."

We took stats next. At five years old, Jacob is 44 lbs (50%) and 44 in tall. (75%). Ryan is 26 lb, 12 oz (50%) and 33 in tall (75%). It's amazing to me how consistent kids are in their percentiles. Both Jacob and Ryan have been the same percentiles pretty much from birth. I'd like to take credit for that but I don't really think their growth has anything to do with all the fruit snacks and hot dogs I'm feeding them.

After the appointment, we walked down to the lobby and threw pennies in the fountains. When I ran out of pennies, Jacob threw a tantrum. Ryan was on the verge of a tantrum until I handed him a piece of bark to toss into the fountain. I'm really going to miss when his low expectations disappear.

Despite the craziness of the morning, I really enjoyed spending it with my kids. I always love when I get a few extra bonus hours with them. That didn't mean that I wasn't very happy to put them in their grandma's capable hands and enjoy my quiet peaceful drive to the office. When I walked into my office and saw the clean desk, I let out a happy sigh. I soaked up the quiet, thought about the organized list of tasks that awaited me, and reveled in the thought that for the next couple hours no one would whine or throw a tantrum in my face. Then I turned on my space heater and made myself a nice, warm cup of tea.

Ahhhh......Sanity.