Sunday, December 9, 2012

Grammar Hurts

Wow. Is already Sunday? How did that happen?

This week was crazy but satisfying. I wrote enough motions, oppositions, and reply briefs to make up for the entire year that I was a paralegal and wrote none at all. We are in the midst of a discovery war with opposing counsel on a case that is going to trial early next year. Every discovery we want to conduct is requiring either a motion to compel or an opposition to a motion for protective order. I love discovery motions. I'm a sick and twisted person because they totally rock my world.

In the past week, I wrote approximately 30 pages in motion briefing. And with every word that I typed I was like "take that! And that! Oh yeah! Beat this!" I know. I'm gross. I was having so much fun that, even though our opposition wasn't due for another couple days, as soon as the kids were in bed, I picked up my laptop to engage in more wordly swordplay. I have a sickness.

Let's see, what else happened? Oh yeah, on Friday I accidentally sexually harrassed my boss...He was showing off a new pair of jeans. I told him that I had a pair of the same brand and I really liked them. We were discussing the qualities of the brand and, I wasn't really thinking and I said, "yeah, they make your butt look good." What I meant, of course, was "they make A PERSON'S butt look good" as in the third person, general sense of the word "you." He thought I just complimented HIS butt and replied, "uh, thanks." Then he walked away.


I wanted to die.

A paralegal overhead it and came into my office with a shocked look on her face. I explained what I meant to say and she started giggling hysterically. My face felt hot and I'm sure I was bright red.

I stayed in my office for a good three hours after that.

In other news, Ryan is eight months old today! He is such a chill, easy baby. Every since we used the cry-it-out method (which only took two nights of crying), he's been going to bed so easily. A little too easily, in fact. I change his diaper, put on his pjs, feed him a bottle, rock him for a minute, then lay him in his crib while he is still awake. He curls up on his side and drifts to sleep without a peep! From all the babysitting that I've done, I've never enountered a child/baby like that! I've never imagined that I'd ever have one! I swear that he is laying some kind of trap or prank for me.

My big boy has two bottom teeth. He loves to clap his hands. He claps his hands at anything and everything. He's mobile now, which is fun to watch but frustrating. I can't just set him down and grab laundry. I have to make sure the entire room is free of small objects and obstructions before I divert my attention elsewhere.

He's so good at feeding himself and chewing food. We went out to breakfast the other day and I gave him a piece of my toast. He bit off tiny pieces and chewed them up. He was so content and ate the whole thing! He also loves pumpkin spice bread and pizza crust and pretty much anything I'm eating. He's been feeding himself Cheerios, soft carrot pieces, and banana slices for quite a while now. I love that he can feed himself during dinner. It means I get to eat with TWO HANDS!

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