Monday, February 18, 2013

Messy Monday

My day off started....with a gigantic Ryan poop. The second I got that diaper off, he wriggled free and smeared a long trail of poo all over his boppy pillow. The more mobile he gets, the more I am certain that a medical restraint board (and a hazmat suit) is a great investment. But the day was still fresh and I was in a good mood. I wasn't going to let a little poo ruin my day off. I cheerily sorted out a load of dirty laundry, brought it downstairs, and filled the washing machine.

When I arrived upstairs, I prepared breakfast for the kids. Jacob informed me that he wanted orange juice, but not the "hairy kind." What? Hairy orange juice? It took five minutes of inquisition to figure out that he was referring to pulp. Ha Ha!

It wasn't until after both kids were fed that I was finally able to sneak to the bathroom for my morning pee ("TMI" is my middle name). I closed the door and breathed a heavy sigh. It's amazing how much sanctuary a thin bathroom door can offer.

The kids decided to take advantage of their three minutes of freedom by dumping out an entire package of jumbo-sized cotton balls.

When I saw them giggling and throwing cotton balls at each other, I didn't have the heart to interrupt their fun with adult worries about wastfullness and messes. Jacob loved making snowballs and throwing them at Ryan's head. Ryan loved picking the balls up and showing them to me. Then he crawled over to his stacking cups and proceeded to fill each one with a mound of cotton balls. He was working with so much concentration and effort, it was pretty hilarious!

Unfortunately, the kids handled the cotton balls so much that they disintegrated into small cotton strings. As we speak, those cotton pieces are rubbed into all four corners of our living room rug.

As I tried to pick cotton ball strands out of the rug, Jacob asked me if he could have something to drink. I shoed him to the kitchen to get his own drink. One minute later, I heard the microwave turn on. This sound was followed by the sound of aggressive sparks and a smokey-burny smell. I walked into the kitchen to find Jacob staring at a soda can that had seen better days. Four years of parenting have calloused me to little calamaties like these. I think I've seen everything. Unless someone's limb is hanging on my a mere membrane, I am incapable of freaking out.

I calmly walked Jacob out of the kitchen. In doing so, I passed by a bundle of fabric on the floor. What the heck?! It was the boppy pillow cover smeared with Ryan's poo. You know... the very same boppy pillow cover that I had JUST done a whole load of laundry for. The one that was supposed to be in the washing machine right that minute! ARRRRG!!!

Despite a rough morning, I decided to brave a trip to the pool in the afternoon. It was just the kids and me. It was also the first time I had taken both kids at the same time. It was a bit of a challenge (ok a large challenge) to wrangle two kids to the pool, in the pool, and from the pool, but it was very worth it to see the excitement and happiness on their faces as they played. (Also, as I changed Ryan into his swimsuit, three cotton balls fell out of his onesie...that's what big brothers are for, right?).

Jacob is my fearless waterbunny. He loves to dunk his head under and will bravely march into the deep end after the big kids with nothing but a skinny pool noodle to keep him afloat. Scares the crap out of me. I desperately need to get that kid into swimming lessons.

Ryan loves the pool just as much as Jacob. He kept trying to leap out of my arms and into the water. He splashed and giggled and splashed some more. Our pool has a zero-depth entry so I set Ryan down in the shallow end to let him splash. He quickly darted straight towards the deep end. Luckily, I caught him just as his face hit the water.

I am so in trouble! What am I going to do with these fearless boys?

Although Jacob has a new, coveted pair of Spiderman swim trunks, he insisted on wearing his old shark trunks so that he could match Ryan. Ryan's red shark trunks are hand me downs from his big brother. I remember so vividly when Jacob used to toddle around on the sand in them. I teared up just the slightest as I slipped them over Ryan's chubby legs. Sigh...

My (freezing) sharks

We ended our eventful day with a trip to the grocery store where I JUST barely clung to the remainder of my wits and my thinly-stretched patience. Jacob insisted on wearing his sunglasses. And Ryan, refusing to let me help in any way, kept trying to put on his hat.

We rushed home and I whipped up a new dessert that had caught my eye in a cooking magazine. It's a key-lime cheesecake with oreo crust (YUM!). It's setting in the refrigerator right now and I keep opening the fridge door to take little peeks. It's supposed to chill for four hours and I, with good faith, predict that I will be sneaking out of my bed at 1 a.m. for a taste test!

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