Tomorrow I head off to Reno with friends for our second annual girls' only trip. I should be excited right? Somehow, I'm not. I'm trying really hard to psych myself up. But all I can think about is how this time last year we were in Vegas and all I wanted to do was come home to be with my babies.
The entire trip I kept thinking about how old and lame I was. The girls wanted to stay out dancing and gambling until the wee hours of the morning. I was exhausted and grumpy and ready for bed by 11 p.m. I distinctly remember being on our third hour of dancing, going through the motions, looking around the bar, and thinking how ridiculous and immature all the other people were. Seriously? I sound 90. It's totally unlike me.
It's just that, when your entire world is several states away, having family meals without you, being tucked into their warm beds, and eagerly awaiting the return of their mommy, suddenly the loud music, the gyrating youngsters wearing little to no clothing, the watered-down drinks...all seem so very unimportant. And almost tiresome.
I probably sound like a whining b----. I mean, I bet a lot of people would love the chance to get away for a couple days. Don't get me wrong, we had fun too. We always have fun when we get together. I just......can't turn off the mommy. As much as I need to get away from them sometimes, it's hard to be apart for long periods of time. I can handle one night away pretty easily. But after that, the longing for baby cuddles, sloppy kisses, and high-pitched laughter is almost unbearable.
To make it harder, for some reason, I'm really nervous about flying (something I usually LOVE) this time around. I've been a little bit morbid lately. Probably from watching/listening to too much news. And my babies are just growing too quickly. Every second with them is precious.
My plane will land safely. My plane will land safely. My plane will land safely.